“Write your injuries in dust and your benefits in marble.”
Not my words, but certainly one life-changing tip. These words are attributed to a great American thinker, scholar, and statesman from a couple of centuries ago. They beautifully capture the essence of what we now call positive psychology.
This doesn’t mean we should erase or deny painful experiences. Reflect on them, learn the lesson they offer, and then move on. You may revisit them occasionally—not to relive the pain, but to refresh the wisdom you gained. An injury should not be allowed to make a permanent home in the mind. That’s no good. No use. The past has passed.
Writing your benefits in marble, on the other hand, means preserving positive experiences in lasting memory. It nurtures gratitude, one of the cornerstones of positive psychology. Gratitude has been shown to reduce stress hormones, activate the brain’s reward centres thus contributing to greater emotional well-being.
So, let life’s hurts be written in dust, where time and the winds will heal them. Let its blessings be carved in marble, where they can continue to inspire and strengthen you.
Pro tip: Revisit your happy moments often. They are good for your health.
A Small Intervention That Worked – And what worked for me might work for others too. Hence sharing with you a moment of connection and breakthrough…
“He behaves very badly. If he doesn’t understand anything or doesn’t know the answer, he completely loses control… yes, at home and in school… You know what he did once? During an online class at home, when the teacher asked him a question, he threw his book at the the computer screen… he tears his books and notebooks, or makes ugly scribbles on them. He simply cannot control it.”
This was a mother describing her 8-year-old son to me, while the boy sat beside her, visibly uncomfortable and irritated at being the topic of discussion.
I turned to him and smiled. He tried to return it, but couldn’t quite manage. I didn’t rush into questions about the problem. Instead, I began by engaging him gently—asking about his class, his favourite sport, his favourite subject. As he gradually settled and began to feel a little safer, I shifted the conversation.
Looking at him calmly, I asked, “Do you get very angry when you don’t know something?” … the boy simply nodded.. I continued “So angry that you feel like tearing your book or scratching it hard with your pencil?”
“Yes,” he replied in a voice barely audible as if waiting to get an earful from me next moment.
“Okay… And you know what? You can do that.’ I added looking straight at him.
He looked up, startled. That was not the response he was expecting. He glanced at his mother, then back at me, as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.
I continued slowly, “It’s okay to feel upset and angry. But next time When you feel that way, instead of scratching your school book or notebook, you use a rough notebook—an old one you don’t need anymore. You can tear it, scribble on it, even crumple it into a ball and throw it away. That way, the anger comes out, but nothing important gets damaged. Does it make sense to you? Do you think you could try that?”
He paused for a moment, then nodded thoughtfully.
Throughout this exchange, his mother listened quietly.
I then spoke with her about the importance of helping children find safe and acceptable ways to express overwhelming emotions, rather than trying to suppress or punish the expression itself. Children often need permission and guidance to channel anger in ways that do not harm themselves, others, or relationships.
It has now been around six months since that session. In all this time, all I have heard from the mother, is “Thank you.”
Sometimes, what looks like a complicated behavioural problem is really a child struggling without tools. And sometimes, a small shift in how we respond becomes the first tool they truly learn to use.
India has a rich tradition of multilingualism. Most of us grow up speaking two or three languages, thanks to the country’s incredible cultural and linguistic diversity.
I was reminded of this during an interaction at the University of Rhode Island. A young student asked me,
❝Renu, how many languages do you know?❞
I began modestly: ❝Hindi, English…❞ But perhaps I was in a slightly indulgent mood that day, so I continued, ❝…some Gujarati, I have studied Sanskrit, and I can understand and appreciate Urdu as well.❞
He looked visibly astonished—eyes widened, mouth slightly open. ❝ That’s quite a lot!❞ he said.
To keep the conversation going, I asked him the same question. He looked down, raised one finger, and replied somewhat sheepishly, ❝Only one.❞ I instantly regretted putting him in that spot.
(⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) During the same informal interaction, someone shared a lighthearted joke:
❝ What do we call someone who speaks many languages?❞ ❝Multilingual.❞
❝Two languages? ❞ ❝Bilingual.❞
❝ And one language? ❞ ❝ …American.❞
Clearly meant in jest. But the stereotype made us reflect. It also set the stage for a deeper discussion on MULTILINGUALISM.
Soon, the conversation shifted to research in psychology and neuroscience, which shows that multilingualism is far more than just a communication skill—it is a cognitive advantage. From enhancing memory and problem-solving abilities to improving focus, fostering empathy, and even delaying cognitive decline, the benefits are both wide-ranging and well documented.
Multilingualism—the ability to use two or more languages—has profound effects on the brain’s structure and function. These advantages stem from the continuous mental exercise involved in managing multiple languages , strengthening executive functioning and mental flexibility.
India’s own intellectual and political leaders strongly advocated multilingualism. Figures like Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru, Rabindranath Tagore, and B. R. Ambedkar believed that learning multiple languages expands the mind, builds cultural bridges, and serves as a powerful tool for social mobility and empowerment.
Reflecting this vision, educational policies in India have long supported the three-language formula. Recently, CBSE curriculum for 2026–27 has made a third language mandatory from Class 6. The National Education Policy’s emphasis on Indian languages. While some argue that this may limit the choice of foreign languages for students, many institutions are creatively addressing this by introducing language clubs and extracurricular opportunities.
I often hear parents express concern about the increasing academic load due to the additional language requirement. However, what is often overlooked are the significant cognitive benefits of language learning. It contributes to brain development, enhances executive functioning, improves focus, and nurtures creativity—while also strengthening communication and social skills.
At a time when global research strongly supports the advantages of multilingualism, it may be worth rethinking these concerns. Instead of viewing it as a burden, we could see it as an investment in a child’s intellectual and personal growth.
As the contemporary linguist G. N. Devy, who has documented hundreds of Indian languages through the People’s Linguistic Survey of India, aptly reminds us:
Losing languages means losing ways of understanding life.
Loose and free! Are they? Or are these words linked?
Why do these words keep whiring in my mind? Perhaps they are more deeply connected than they appear.
Recently, I came across a statement by Professor Shireesh Kedare, Director of IIT Bombay, in The Indian Express (March 6, 2026): “Coaching culture trains students to game the exam rather than build conceptual understanding. This approach doesn’t work in the IIT system.”
This stayed with me.
My thoughts wandered to the many reports of students resorting to self-harm in prestigious institutions, and to similar incidents in cities where coaching centres thrive but young minds quietly struggle. I even recalled a panel discussion I watched years ago, where heads of IITs spoke about the rising number of student suicides on their campuses.
One remark stuck: many students entering these institutions are those have not read any story books, watched meaningful films, pursued hobbies, or experienced unstructured play. From as early as Grades 6 or 7, they are absorbed into coaching systems. By the time they get here, they are often mentally exhausted, emotionally depleted, and physically inactive.
They are unprepared—not intellectually, but psychologically—for the journey ahead. For years, their singular goal has been to “get in.” Schools, parents, and coaching systems reinforce this idea.
I recall a school leader telling Grade 12 students: “Focus on getting into IIT. Once you’re there, life is set.” The implication was clear—work relentlessly now, and later you just chill and enjoy life. But reality is very different. And reality hits them hard as nothing, no one prepared them for that.
Many students discover that the pressure does not ease; it intensifies. Without genuine interest in their field, without emotional resilience, and without a broader foundation of experiences, they struggle to cope.
As Professor Kedare also points out in the same idea exchange that some students arrive driven more by the brand value of institutions than by thrir passion for learning. When faced with academic and personal challenges, they falter. He adds that he has seen students spiral—one, for instance, turned to excessive gaming and failed most first-semester courses.
This forces us to question the cost are we chasing success.
It is natural for parents to want the best for their children. But should childhood be sacrificed at the altar of coaching classes? Too often, we hear heartbreaking accounts of children apologizing to their parents for “failing” them—just before taking irreversible step.
Parents may not fully grasp the immense pressure their children carry, or how fragile their mental health can become under it.
So what can be done?
First, we must stop placing the entire weight of expectations on young shoulders. Children need time— for studies, and for life.
Time to play. Time to explore hobbies. Time to simply be.
Free play is not a luxury; it is essential. It supports emotional regulation and contributes to mental strength. Physical activity is equally critical—it nurtures both body and mind.
I know of a parent who once said, “She can play after her Class 12 exams. There’s no point wasting time now.” But is play really a waste of time?
Is it not fundamental to healthy development? Can children truly excel academically if their physical and emotional needs are neglected? Childhood is a critical period of growth—what is missed then cannot be fully recreated later.
Watching reels or playing video games is not the same as running outdoors, playing a sport, or engaging with peers. Through sports and play, children learn to solve problems, follow rules, handle victory and defeat, negotiate, collaborate, and persist. They learn resilience, they thrive.
And yet, while we speak often about social-emotional learning, we rarely give children the space to experience it.
Many parents also dismiss stories, poetry, theatre, or the arts as distractions. “What’s the use?” they ask.
Oh, the use is profound!
Stories build imagination. Poetry deepens emotional awareness. The arts cultivate empathy, reflection, and self-expression.
These experiences shape individuals who are not only academically capable, but also socially aware, emotionally intelligent, and truly prepared for life.
If we want our children to flourish and not just succeed—we must rethink what we value.
Now let’s turn to the words we read in the beginning. Those are not separate after all.They are threads of the same fabric.
The first thing that comes to my mind as I read this prompt is a quote I stumbled upon this morning—
It instantly brought someone to my mind. Someone going through a difficult time, nursing a heartbreak, weighed down by disappointment, struggling to move forward through the negativity.
I shared this thought with her, hoping it would remind her that even in the darkest phases, something meaningful is possibly taking shape beneath the surface.
We often celebrate growth when it’s visible—when the transformation is complete. But we rarely talk about the in-between: the confusion, the self-doubt, the negativity, the waiting…
Research in positive psychology supports this unseen phase of growth. The concept of post-traumatic growth, introduced by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, suggests that people can experience profound personal development after adversity. It’s not the pain itself that transforms us, but the way we process, reflect and rebuild. 🤍☁️🌿🍃✨️
And yet, while research gives us language for this transformation, living through it is messy.
And it’s not just about heartbreak. It could be any loss, any setback, any moment where life feels heavier than usual. These are the times when faith feels fragile and hope feels elusive—but they are also the moments that shape our better version.
Growth happens in the dark too! Save this for difficult days when it feels overwhelming. ⋆.˚🦋༘⋆
ꜛ The above quote resonates deeply with me. It suggests a powerful yet simple idea: we can learn something from everyone we meet. The only requirement is where we choose to place our focus. If we train ourselves to notice strengths, qualities, and positives in others, every interaction becomes an opportunity for growth,IF, if we “have a heart that watches and receives” (expression borrowed from the great english poet William Wordsworth)
›This way of thinking closely aligns with the essence of positive psychology—a strength-focused approach. What we focus on grows. If we train our eyes to see gems, the world begins to feel richer, wiser, and more generous.
› At the same time, learning is not just about others—it is about our willingness to be taught. If you are truly willing to learn, every experience and interaction—whether positive or negative—holds a lesson. But for that, one must be teachable. When we cultivate that openness, the entire universe becomes our teacher.
›In his poem ‘The Tables Turned’ William Wordsworth captured this beautifully when he wrote, “Let nature be your teacher.” He believed that:
❝One impulse from a vernal wood May teach you more of man, Of moral evil and of good, Than all the sages can.❞
∗(From: The Tables Turned) These lines remind us that wisdom is woven into the world around us.
››As I write, I’m reminded of a poem I encountered in school, probably in the fifth grade. At that age, perhaps we are too young to fully grasp its depth, yet the message quietly stays with us. Meaning unfolds, as we grow. The image below is found on the internet.
››I sum up the main idea that the poem conveys. It draws lessons from nature in the most beautiful way. The mountain, standing tall and firm, teaches us to hold our heads high—to be grounded, resilient, and unwavering in our values. The ocean, vast and deep, reminds us that our thoughts, too, should have depth, encouraging us to think critically rather than remain superficial.
›The earth, patient and enduring, teaches us to carry our responsibilities without complaint. And the sky, limitless and expansive, inspires us to grow beyond boundaries—to embrace a perspective wide enough to include the whole world.
🎯The poem is really about developing essential life skills.🪴 It speaks of courage—the courage to stand for what is right. It nurtures assertiveness, resilience, and the ability to think deeply. It encourages problem-solving and thoughtful decision-making. And above all, it fosters empathy—the kind that allows us to consider every soul on this planet.
›Perhaps the lesson is simple yet profound: if we are willing to learn, teachers are everywhere. In people. In experiences. In nature. In life itself. 🌿⚘.⋆🍃༄
✍️ Over to you:What’s your take? Share your thoughts in the comments below! 💬
Hardship, loss, and humiliation are universal human experiences. No one is immune to life’s inevitable negative experiences. Since no one escapes these moments, we all have to find ways to deal with them.
The true challenge lies in finding the strength to cope and move forward. We have to help ourselves. Even counsellors help people to help themselves. Eventually it’s we. We have to find, reflect, try what works for whom or what support to take. I am here sharing my coping strategies. Someone may just find them useful.
Prayer. When troubled I take refuge in prayer. My prayer is simple. When I feel low, I find comfort by sitting in my home’s prayer corner. I just sit quiet watching my thoughts drift by. I talk to myself and I feel lighter. Sometimes I find solutions to my problems and sometimes I find strength to cope.
Then, I find great solace in quote therapy. I have my personal collection of quotes which have appealed to me at different times. I take a dip in my collection and very often emerge wiser and stronger.
I recall one instance – In April 2020 during lock down. I developed symptoms and went to imaging centre for my lungs X-ray. From there I was sent straight to the Covid hospital. Covid was not confirmed yet the chances were high. While my husband was driving me to the hospital on the deserted street, I was thinking about these lines from Annie Johnson Flint poem .
❝God has not promised skies always blue, Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through; God has not promised sun without rain, Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.❞
and I felt strong and ready to face whatever was instore for me.
Similarly the following lines from WB Yeats’ The Ballad of Father Gilligan always make me feel safe and loved and fill me with gratitude.
❝He Who is wrapped in purple robes,
With planets in His care
Had pity on the least of things
Asleep upon a chair.❞
Another poem ‘Asha Ka Deepak’ (Beacon of hope) that fills me with hope and optimism at the time when the going gets tough, is written by the great hindi poet Ramdhari Singh Dinkar
And there are times, when I take to journaling. When I am hurting from what someone has done to me, when I’m smarting because I’m wronged, when I’m writhing because I became a victim, when I get no rest, when my unceasing thoughts don’t let me sleep, I pour all those disturbing thoughts on paper.
I keep those papers with me thinking I’ll sometime show these to the right person at the right moment. That does not happen. After sometime things change and all the thoughts, words become irrelevant. When I look at those papers much later, I feel I was either overthinking or overreacting or that these are just thoughts that mattered then but not now. This has happened quite a few times in life. But pouring those thoughts and emotions on paper has provided me instant relief and peace. 🤍☁️🌿🍃✨️
I have observed often that cleaning up my house also cleans up my mind. It’s kind of symbolic. Decluttering physical space declutters the mind too. At least it works for me that way.
❝Self-care is the process of establishing behaviors to ensure holistic well-being of oneself, to promote health, and actively manage illness when it occurs.❞ Wikipedia
Have you ever experienced a good walk, a refreshing shower, a satisfying meal, some enjoyable music evlevate the mood? All these stimulate the production of “happy hormones” like endorphins, dopamine,serotonin and oxytocin and reduce stress hormones. All these are my go-to self-care practices.🌼
This is about me. I’d definitely love to know more about your coping strategies. Share your thoughts in comments 💬Till then…
I look for meaning in small everyday experiences. Here are a few ordinary moments that have stayed with me.
⋆˙⟡ It was my English class of ninth graders. We were practicing simple present tense. The students had to describe someone’s daily routine. One student chose her father.
“When my father wakes up he first checks his phone for half an hour. He gets ready, takes breakfast. Sometimes during breakfast he watches reels . He leaves for work at 9:30 morning and comes back at 6:30 pm. He has tea with my mother and they watch TV for an hour. When my mother cooks dinner, he watches news. He goes to sleep at 12 and before that he likes to play video games.”
That was the routine!
She wasn’t complaining. She was just describing… normal life.
⋆˙⟡
🍀Now shift to a park in my neighbourhood. I’m just people watching from a distance. A woman takes the kid out on a stroller. There are trees there are flowers, and maybe butterfies. There’s a pond nearby and a playground. The child sits comfortably and takes in all that she can. The woman is pushing the stroller with one hand on autopilot and her other hand holds the phone, which in turn holds all her attention.
🌀I begin to turn it over in my mind and think while the child is actively navigating her world, that woman who could be a mother or a caretaker is losing a key moment to connect.
⋆˙⟡
🎞️Now picture this. A mother immersed in the device in her palm.
The excited kid calls ‘Mommy…..mommy!’
No answer.
Mommy!
‘WHAT ⁉️’
N..nothing 😦
Child withdraws.
⋆˙⟡ Pause for thought. ᝰ.ᐟ
In all the three real life moments what message are the adults giving to the children?💬 If we don’t form meaningful connection with kids, how will kids share their feelings with us. Then there’s no point complaining that kids don’t listen to us.
🧩Parenting is not about perfection, it’s about connection. It’s not about eliminating screens, but being present for children. Maybe it begins with one small pause —with eye contact and one fully present moment.
In my next post, we’ll explore the often unnoticed power of modelling in parenting.
🗝️Three key areas where music can be used as an educational tool: ‣Classroom management; ‣Memory, retention and ‣concentration; Community building.
✧My previous post recounted some moments that revealed the magical effect of music on mind, on mood. If music can regulate emotions, reduce anxiety, build bonds, improve focus, then it definitely is a powerful tool for the social emotional development of children which in turn will sharpen their cognitive abilities and boost academic performance.
👉Here I share strategies for making intentional use of music in classrooms for better teaching learning experiences. These strategies are drawn from my personal reflections and practical insights based on myown teaching experience, my experience as a teacher trainer and from observing other colleagues:
⚡Classroom management- Morning assembly prayer and songs is a common routine in most schools that makes the students and teachers fresh, energetic to start the day with positive vibes. ⬩However, teachers would agree that the transition from one period to another, when one teacher leaves and the other enters or students move from one classroom to another, is always full of chaos and commotion.
⬩ In one of the schools I observed, instead of ringing piercing bell they play a Mozart Symphony or some instrumental music, to signal the end of one subject period. This, I realized, minimized the noise and chaos during transitions effectively.
⬩Tasks can be timed with music. Students work on the task till soft music continues and stop activity/exercise the as the music stops.
⬩For signalling- for better management some sound signals can be created to signify instructions like tidying up the room, filing out or for being quiet. Rainstick or some chimealso is useful.
⚡For memorizing- Music strengthens memory. For younger children, it is effective way of acquiring linguistic skills, and a very potent tool for memorizing as they repeat the same songs, poems often.
⬩Improving focus – Soft music helps concentrate so can be used in the classroom while students are at a writing task or drawing or reading silently. Teachers will have to check the volume which should be very soft and low so it does not itself become a distraction.
To improve focus if the students come back to their classroom after recess or sports period make them sit for two minutes with eyes closed while some soft music plays and they open eyes when th e music stops.🌱
⬩Music can come handy as a brain break activity. It has now been established through studies that brain breaks boost attention spans. Introduce 5 minutes activities every 25 minutes to refresh minds. And after breaks students returned ready to learn. 👩🏻💻📓✍🏻💡
⚡For Community building- Having a chant for their group or some group musical activities produce neurochemicals that energise (endorphins) and release social bonding hormone (oxytocin), thus fostering feelings of trust, connectedness among children. This community feeling is crucial for the children to feel safe and supported which is a prerequisite for better learning.
⚠️What is important is to choose music or songs keeping the age of the students in mind. Ensure that the music does not distract students from their task. Keep the music low unless the students are feeling dull and need to be energized and other classes are not disturbed.
▸Choose the strategies discreetly, overdoing reduces impact.
▸Also know your students. Through a little experimentation a teacher can find out what works with their class. Different groups have different preferences. One class I taught loved short stories over songs and I used to be on the look out for stories that I could squeeze into the lesson plan. But that’s the story for another day 😊
Roots n Wings 