Category: positive-parenting

  • Movies That Speak to Parents: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

    When I was facilitating a workshop, a parent asked me if I could suggest some movies that carry meaningful messages for parents. ˙✧˖°🎞️

    On the spot, I could think only of the movie *Adolescence. By the way, you can read about it on my blog. (Link given at the bottom) Then another parent suggested Taare Zameen Par. Yes, of course—that one belongs on the list too!

    But the question remained with me. So, I thought, why not explore movies that parents and children can watch together—movies that entertain, spark conversations, and leave us with something to think about?

    I plan to talking about more such movies for parents and children. And today’s pick is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the 2005 fantasy film based on Roald Dahl’s book of the same name.

    It is, of course, a fantasy. There is magic, there are imaginary characters, and there are situations that could never happen in real life. Yet, beneath all that fantasy, the messages are surprisingly real—and relevant to both children and parents.

    A little about the story—without spoilers 👁

    A quirky chocolatier, Willy Wonka announces a rather extraordinary idea: hidden inside chocolate wrappers are five golden tickets. The lucky children who find them will get a chance to visit his mysterious chocolate factory.

    But there is more to the visit than meets the eye. Wonka has a secret plan, and as the children move through the factory, one by one, they face situations that test their behaviour, choices and character. And that’s where the movie becomes particularly interesting from a parenting perspective.

    I won’t give away what happens 🤫 Instead, I’ll let the movie do the talking.

    Each time one of the four children is eliminated, Wonka’s wonderfully strange Oompa-Loompas sing a song explaining what went wrong. And if you listen carefully, those songs are not merely about the children. They also offer a reflection on parenting.

    •What flaw led to the child’s downfall?

    •Where did that behaviour come from?

    •And, perhaps most importantly, how were the parents contributing to it?

    So, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory may look like a whimsical story about chocolate, golden tickets and a magical factory. But beneath the fantasy are questions about parenting, values, behaviour, relationships and the kind of adults our children may eventually become.

    That is what makes the movie worth watching with a parenting lens.

    The movie has another powerful thread running through it: Family relationships, what I like to call the power of positive relationships.

    Willy Wonka, despite being a wealthy and successful factory owner, carries an emotional void. There is a particularly telling moment when he struggles even to utter the word “Papa.” I’ll leave that one for you to notice when you watch the movie.

    Our relationships with our children can leave an imprint far beyond childhood. Sometimes, what a person becomes on the outside tells us very little about what they may be carrying on the inside.

    And that makes it much more than just a children’s movie.

    Before I end, I’d like to leave you with a few of the profound and meaningful conversations from the movie:

    Willy Wonka: ❛ The best kind of prize is a surprise! ❜

    ❛ Whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all unless it’s been whipped with whips. Everybody knows that.❜

    Grandpa Joe: ❛ However small the chance might be of striking lucky, the chance was there.❜

    Here’s the coversation❝ ❞ Granpa and Charlie:

    Grandpa George: Young man, come here. There’s plenty of money out there. They print more every day. But this ticket, there’s only five of them in the whole world, and that’s all there’s ever going to be. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?

    Charlie: No, sir!

    Grandpa George:Then get that mud off your pants! You’ve got a factory to go to! 🏁

    Perhaps these are worth reading, discussing—and reflecting upon, not just with our children, but with ourselves too.

    Your thoughts? 🎤 Drop in the comment box ✎ᝰ.

    *Adolescence 🔗

  • From Outbursts to Understanding

    A Small Intervention That Worked – And what worked for me might work for others too. Hence sharing with you a moment of connection and breakthrough…

    “He behaves very badly. If he doesn’t understand anything or doesn’t know the answer, he completely loses control… yes, at home and in school… You know what he did once? During an online class at home, when the teacher asked him a question, he threw his book at the the computer screen… he tears his books and notebooks, or makes ugly scribbles on them. He simply cannot control it.”

    This was a mother describing her 8-year-old son to me, while the boy sat beside her, visibly uncomfortable and irritated at being the topic of discussion.

    I turned to him and smiled. He tried to return it, but couldn’t quite manage. I didn’t rush into questions about the problem. Instead, I began by engaging him gently—asking about his class, his favourite sport, his favourite subject. As he gradually settled and began to feel a little safer, I shifted the conversation.

    Looking at him calmly, I asked, “Do you get very angry when you don’t know something?” … the boy simply nodded.. I continued “So angry that you feel like tearing your book or scratching it hard with your pencil?”

    “Yes,” he replied in a voice barely audible as if waiting to get an earful from me next moment.

    “Okay… And you know what? You can do that.’ I added looking straight at him.

    He looked up, startled. That was not the response he was expecting. He glanced at his mother, then back at me, as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.

    I continued slowly, “It’s okay to feel upset and angry. But next time When you feel that way, instead of scratching your school book or notebook, you use a rough notebook—an old one you don’t need anymore. You can tear it, scribble on it, even crumple it into a ball and throw it away. That way, the anger comes out, but nothing important gets damaged. Does it make sense to you? Do you think you could try that?”

    He paused for a moment, then nodded thoughtfully.

    Throughout this exchange, his mother listened quietly.

    I then spoke with her about the importance of helping children find safe and acceptable ways to express overwhelming emotions, rather than trying to suppress or punish the expression itself. Children often need permission and guidance to channel anger in ways that do not harm themselves, others, or relationships.

    It has now been around six months since that session. In all this time, all I have heard from the mother, is “Thank you.”

    Sometimes, what looks like a complicated behavioural problem is really a child struggling without tools. And sometimes, a small shift in how we respond becomes the first tool they truly learn to use.

    Your thoughts? Drop ’em in comments 👇

  • The Parenting Legacy That Never Fades

    Two news stories that I read lately have stayed with me. The stories highlight how parents influence our thoughts, desires, choices and our personalities for ever.

    The first is about a man in his seventies who appeared for the NEET (National Eligiblility cum Entrance Test) for medical entrance.

    Why ⍰To fulfil his late mother’s wish.

    The second is about a woman who became a Chartered Accountant after clearing one of the toughest professional exams and against all odds at the age of 52. In doing so she bravely juggled with her studies and mid-life family responsibilities, her daughter’s wedding and tending to her mother-in-law during her final illness.

    Why ⍰Because she wanted to gift her degree to her father on his 75th birthday.

    What connects these two stories?

    In both cases they took on challenges that many would consider impossible at their age. And both were driven by the same powerful motivation—the desire to make their parents proud.

    💭Time to pause and reflect. A child’s longing for their parents’ appreciation doesn’t disappear with age. It stays with them throughout their lives. That’s the extraordinary influence parents have.

    Here’s my message to parents: As parents, we often underestimate the impact we have. Recognize the power you hold. Be conscious of the impact you have. Your influence is far greater and more enduring than you may realize. You can shape lives and inspire greatness. You give roots and wings .ᐟ.ᐟᝰ.ᐟ

    Parenting is not just about raising children. It’s about leaving a legacy of belief that continues to inspire them throughout their lives. ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

    Over to you 🎤What is one thing you’ve done—or still hope to do—to make your parents proud? Share your story in comments ⤵️