“Write your injuries in dust and your benefits in marble.”
Not my words, but certainly one life-changing tip. These words are attributed to a great American thinker, scholar, and statesman from a couple of centuries ago. They beautifully capture the essence of what we now call positive psychology.
This doesn’t mean we should erase or deny painful experiences. Reflect on them, learn the lesson they offer, and then move on. You may revisit them occasionally—not to relive the pain, but to refresh the wisdom you gained. An injury should not be allowed to make a permanent home in the mind. That’s no good. No use. The past has passed.
Writing your benefits in marble, on the other hand, means preserving positive experiences in lasting memory. It nurtures gratitude, one of the cornerstones of positive psychology. Gratitude has been shown to reduce stress hormones, activate the brain’s reward centres thus contributing to greater emotional well-being.
So, let life’s hurts be written in dust, where time and the winds will heal them. Let its blessings be carved in marble, where they can continue to inspire and strengthen you.
Pro tip: Revisit your happy moments often. They are good for your health.
A Small Intervention That Worked – And what worked for me might work for others too. Hence sharing with you a moment of connection and breakthrough…
“He behaves very badly. If he doesn’t understand anything or doesn’t know the answer, he completely loses control… yes, at home and in school… You know what he did once? During an online class at home, when the teacher asked him a question, he threw his book at the the computer screen… he tears his books and notebooks, or makes ugly scribbles on them. He simply cannot control it.”
This was a mother describing her 8-year-old son to me, while the boy sat beside her, visibly uncomfortable and irritated at being the topic of discussion.
I turned to him and smiled. He tried to return it, but couldn’t quite manage. I didn’t rush into questions about the problem. Instead, I began by engaging him gently—asking about his class, his favourite sport, his favourite subject. As he gradually settled and began to feel a little safer, I shifted the conversation.
Looking at him calmly, I asked, “Do you get very angry when you don’t know something?” … the boy simply nodded.. I continued “So angry that you feel like tearing your book or scratching it hard with your pencil?”
“Yes,” he replied in a voice barely audible as if waiting to get an earful from me next moment.
“Okay… And you know what? You can do that.’ I added looking straight at him.
He looked up, startled. That was not the response he was expecting. He glanced at his mother, then back at me, as if trying to make sense of what he had just heard.
I continued slowly, “It’s okay to feel upset and angry. But next time When you feel that way, instead of scratching your school book or notebook, you use a rough notebook—an old one you don’t need anymore. You can tear it, scribble on it, even crumple it into a ball and throw it away. That way, the anger comes out, but nothing important gets damaged. Does it make sense to you? Do you think you could try that?”
He paused for a moment, then nodded thoughtfully.
Throughout this exchange, his mother listened quietly.
I then spoke with her about the importance of helping children find safe and acceptable ways to express overwhelming emotions, rather than trying to suppress or punish the expression itself. Children often need permission and guidance to channel anger in ways that do not harm themselves, others, or relationships.
It has now been around six months since that session. In all this time, all I have heard from the mother, is “Thank you.”
Sometimes, what looks like a complicated behavioural problem is really a child struggling without tools. And sometimes, a small shift in how we respond becomes the first tool they truly learn to use.
The first thing that comes to my mind as I read this prompt is a quote I stumbled upon this morning—
It instantly brought someone to my mind. Someone going through a difficult time, nursing a heartbreak, weighed down by disappointment, struggling to move forward through the negativity.
I shared this thought with her, hoping it would remind her that even in the darkest phases, something meaningful is possibly taking shape beneath the surface.
We often celebrate growth when it’s visible—when the transformation is complete. But we rarely talk about the in-between: the confusion, the self-doubt, the negativity, the waiting…
Research in positive psychology supports this unseen phase of growth. The concept of post-traumatic growth, introduced by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, suggests that people can experience profound personal development after adversity. It’s not the pain itself that transforms us, but the way we process, reflect and rebuild. 🤍☁️🌿🍃✨️
And yet, while research gives us language for this transformation, living through it is messy.
And it’s not just about heartbreak. It could be any loss, any setback, any moment where life feels heavier than usual. These are the times when faith feels fragile and hope feels elusive—but they are also the moments that shape our better version.
Growth happens in the dark too! Save this for difficult days when it feels overwhelming. ⋆.˚🦋༘⋆
I try to find joy in the little things. My inclination toward positive psychology encourages me to notice and nurture happiness in everyday moments. In this field, happiness is often seen as having two essential components: feeling good, and engaging in meaningful activities that foster personal growth and fulfilment.
One of my simplest pleasures is watching the sunrise in silence. I love observing the morning sky as it shifts from crimson to red, then saffron to orange. Waking up to a sky already bright yellow makes me feel as though I’ve missed an important event. I admit, it leaves me a little grumpy. When I do catch the sunrise, I take a pause, thinking of nothing in particular, absorbing the beauty. It fills me with a sense of renewal, like the day holds fresh promise.
Another small joy is scrolling through my phone—especially when it feels earned. After finishing a task, I allow myself a short break, telling myself I’ll relax for fifteen minutes. Of course, those fifteen minutes often stretch into thirty. Still, that time feels like a gentle reward: a mix of catching up, browsing, and unwinding.
I also cherish the moments when I lie in bed with a book in hand. Sometimes I read, sometimes I drift off within minutes—there’s no guarantee. But the comfort of that quiet pause is enough.
And whenever I can manage, which is not very often, I like to practice Yog Nidra. It’s so rejuvenating!
Music is another constant companion. Every day, there’s usually one song playing on a loop in my mind, and I find myself humming it throughout the day. That, for me, is a sign of happiness. In fact, if I’m not humming while going about my mundane life, my family starts to wonder if something is wrong! ◡̈
Yet, of all these small joys, nothing brings me greater fulfilment than writing. I am no great writer, yet the act of writing gives me immense satisfaction. And again! Enhancing life satisfaction is a fundamental focus of positive psychology (oh, can’t keep it out of my thoughts). Even composing a simple email can feel meaningful. When I haven’t written for a few days, I notice the absence—I feel restless, a little joyless, and somewhat unanchored.
These everyday moments may seem ordinary, but together, they create a life that feels rich, mindful, and quietly joyful.
✦I hope to support the community at its most foundational level by empowering parents, teachers, and caregivers with practical ideas and meaningful strategies.
✦When the adults in a child’s world feel equipped and confident, children are more likely to flourish—reaching their full potential while growing into individuals who are socially and culturally competent, and physically, mentally, and academically strong. This vision is deeply personal to me, and it is what has led me here @ Roots n Wings.
Raising Kids & Shaping Future
⚡When I look around, I feel a growing urgency. We constantly read and hear about the challenges children face today—fragile mental health, low frustration tolerance, and an increasing need for instant gratification. Alongside this, digital addiction has emerged as a modern epidemic, often contributing to behavioral and emotional concerns.
⚡Adolescents, especially, are navigating a demanding world—balancing parental expectations, peer pressure, bullying, and their own inner questions about identity and belonging. At the same time, many parents and educational systems are still adapting to these rapidly changing needs. The increasing cases of self-harm among students remind us that we need to pause, reflect, and respond with greater sensitivity.
💫This is where I believe positive psychology can make a real difference.
It is not just about addressing problems after they arise, but about preventing them—building emotional strength, resilience, and awareness early on. It complements therapy by creating a strong foundation for well-being.
✦With my background in teaching, along with my training as a counselor and therapist, I feel prepared to contribute to this space. While I know my journey is still in its early stages, my intention is clear—to reach more people, to share what I’ve learned, and to make a meaningful difference.
✦And most importantly, I believe this with conviction—I am ready for this.
ꜛ The above quote resonates deeply with me. It suggests a powerful yet simple idea: we can learn something from everyone we meet. The only requirement is where we choose to place our focus. If we train ourselves to notice strengths, qualities, and positives in others, every interaction becomes an opportunity for growth,IF, if we “have a heart that watches and receives” (expression borrowed from the great english poet William Wordsworth)
›This way of thinking closely aligns with the essence of positive psychology—a strength-focused approach. What we focus on grows. If we train our eyes to see gems, the world begins to feel richer, wiser, and more generous.
› At the same time, learning is not just about others—it is about our willingness to be taught. If you are truly willing to learn, every experience and interaction—whether positive or negative—holds a lesson. But for that, one must be teachable. When we cultivate that openness, the entire universe becomes our teacher.
›In his poem ‘The Tables Turned’ William Wordsworth captured this beautifully when he wrote, “Let nature be your teacher.” He believed that:
❝One impulse from a vernal wood May teach you more of man, Of moral evil and of good, Than all the sages can.❞
∗(From: The Tables Turned) These lines remind us that wisdom is woven into the world around us.
››As I write, I’m reminded of a poem I encountered in school, probably in the fifth grade. At that age, perhaps we are too young to fully grasp its depth, yet the message quietly stays with us. Meaning unfolds, as we grow. The image below is found on the internet.
››I sum up the main idea that the poem conveys. It draws lessons from nature in the most beautiful way. The mountain, standing tall and firm, teaches us to hold our heads high—to be grounded, resilient, and unwavering in our values. The ocean, vast and deep, reminds us that our thoughts, too, should have depth, encouraging us to think critically rather than remain superficial.
›The earth, patient and enduring, teaches us to carry our responsibilities without complaint. And the sky, limitless and expansive, inspires us to grow beyond boundaries—to embrace a perspective wide enough to include the whole world.
🎯The poem is really about developing essential life skills.🪴 It speaks of courage—the courage to stand for what is right. It nurtures assertiveness, resilience, and the ability to think deeply. It encourages problem-solving and thoughtful decision-making. And above all, it fosters empathy—the kind that allows us to consider every soul on this planet.
›Perhaps the lesson is simple yet profound: if we are willing to learn, teachers are everywhere. In people. In experiences. In nature. In life itself. 🌿⚘.⋆🍃༄
✍️ Over to you:What’s your take? Share your thoughts in the comments below! 💬
🌸 Here’s to the women pave the way for future generations, who provide both roots and wings!
🍃On March 8, we celebrate the X — the mark of creation. Beyond biology lies brilliance, the quiet strength, the capacity. The capacity to nurture without losing strength, to lead with empathy, to raise emotionally secure children.
It’s about power — expressed with grace, the soft power. 🍀
No, we don’t compete for power. We are power. Before you disagree let me elaborate my point.
Let’s bring genetics into the conversation. X chromosome contains significantly greater number of genes. Then, certain conditions (mitochondrial) can be inherited down the maternal line only.
🍃Well, leave the genetics aside and consider socialization. Although fathers’ involvement in child-rearing is increasing, yet studies indicate that, on average, mothers spend significantly more time on direct childcare and daily routines compared to fathers. Understandably, mothers have a greater impact on their children’s behavior, attitudes, and personalities. So, until the time men take equal share of child rearing responsibilities, women would continue to lead not just support.
Oh, does this sound divisive? Allow me be an unapologetic feminist today 🙂 Happy Women’s Day! 💐
Hardship, loss, and humiliation are universal human experiences. No one is immune to life’s inevitable negative experiences. Since no one escapes these moments, we all have to find ways to deal with them.
The true challenge lies in finding the strength to cope and move forward. We have to help ourselves. Even counsellors help people to help themselves. Eventually it’s we. We have to find, reflect, try what works for whom or what support to take. I am here sharing my coping strategies. Someone may just find them useful.
Prayer. When troubled I take refuge in prayer. My prayer is simple. When I feel low, I find comfort by sitting in my home’s prayer corner. I just sit quiet watching my thoughts drift by. I talk to myself and I feel lighter. Sometimes I find solutions to my problems and sometimes I find strength to cope.
Then, I find great solace in quote therapy. I have my personal collection of quotes which have appealed to me at different times. I take a dip in my collection and very often emerge wiser and stronger.
I recall one instance – In April 2020 during lock down. I developed symptoms and went to imaging centre for my lungs X-ray. From there I was sent straight to the Covid hospital. Covid was not confirmed yet the chances were high. While my husband was driving me to the hospital on the deserted street, I was thinking about these lines from Annie Johnson Flint poem .
❝God has not promised skies always blue, Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through; God has not promised sun without rain, Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.❞
and I felt strong and ready to face whatever was instore for me.
Similarly the following lines from WB Yeats’ The Ballad of Father Gilligan always make me feel safe and loved and fill me with gratitude.
❝He Who is wrapped in purple robes,
With planets in His care
Had pity on the least of things
Asleep upon a chair.❞
Another poem ‘Asha Ka Deepak’ (Beacon of hope) that fills me with hope and optimism at the time when the going gets tough, is written by the great hindi poet Ramdhari Singh Dinkar
And there are times, when I take to journaling. When I am hurting from what someone has done to me, when I’m smarting because I’m wronged, when I’m writhing because I became a victim, when I get no rest, when my unceasing thoughts don’t let me sleep, I pour all those disturbing thoughts on paper.
I keep those papers with me thinking I’ll sometime show these to the right person at the right moment. That does not happen. After sometime things change and all the thoughts, words become irrelevant. When I look at those papers much later, I feel I was either overthinking or overreacting or that these are just thoughts that mattered then but not now. This has happened quite a few times in life. But pouring those thoughts and emotions on paper has provided me instant relief and peace. 🤍☁️🌿🍃✨️
I have observed often that cleaning up my house also cleans up my mind. It’s kind of symbolic. Decluttering physical space declutters the mind too. At least it works for me that way.
❝Self-care is the process of establishing behaviors to ensure holistic well-being of oneself, to promote health, and actively manage illness when it occurs.❞ Wikipedia
Have you ever experienced a good walk, a refreshing shower, a satisfying meal, some enjoyable music evlevate the mood? All these stimulate the production of “happy hormones” like endorphins, dopamine,serotonin and oxytocin and reduce stress hormones. All these are my go-to self-care practices.🌼
This is about me. I’d definitely love to know more about your coping strategies. Share your thoughts in comments 💬Till then…
༗ It often amazes me how a poet manages to take a peek into the recesses of human heart! This is what struck me when I listened to Pt Jasraj’s soulful rendition of a verse by the great poet Surdas. For those who have not dived into Hindi literature, I’d add that Surdas has written devotional poetry vividly descibing Lord Krisna’s childhood.
༗ Get the gist of the song first.
🪈🧞♀️Maa Yashoda is resting in her bed musing about her little son, who has gone to graze the cows for the first time. The child is small, yet big enough to go out to do what he ought to do. A cow herd boy must learn his job. He will soon be sharing this responsibility. The mother is anxious that little one has left home and is out on work, how will he manage, what challenges might he face. She is thrilled as her little one emerges from the cocoon. She is beaming with pride at the little steps her son takes. She offers prayers and gratitude to Gods for blessing her with such a wonderful child.
I wonder once again how well the poet knows what lies deep in the heart of a mother! The verse is about Maa Yashoda and her son Krisna.
༗ The poet is relevant when the poetry is universal, not confined to time and place. Instead of Maa Yahoda and her son, it could be any mother/parent, any other child, even changed times, but the emotions and their complexity remain unchanged.
༗ Try putting it in the current context. Children going out for grazing cows is uncommon. But it signify the child transitioning into the next stage, which could mean the first day in the play group, an adolescent appearing for a crucial board exam or a young lad setting out for the hostel life. So the myriad of emotions that the poet describes so beautifully and tenderly are still relatable.
▶︎•၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|။•EnjoyThe song that inspired these thoughts.
🎼Enjoy the song as I fall short of describing the beauty of the original verse, but Pandit Jasraj’s magical rendition captures it perfectly. Witness two legends across centuries come together in this song.
What’s your take? Share your thoughts in the comments below! 💬
Roots n Wings 