Category: Positive Psychology

  • Make Space for Happiness

    ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ Write your injuries in dust, your benefits in marble. ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Benjamin Franklin

    🧠The above quote contains a wealth of wisdom and the essence of strength-focused positive psychology.

    ๋࣭⭑Before I discuss the above aphorism, I’d like to draw your attention to a piece of information related to neuroscience. In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article regarding research about human thoughts per day. The average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before and about 80% are negative. (Source: 22 Facts About the Brain By Julia Burket)

    ๋࣭⭑Two points need highlighting.⭑One, most of our thoughts are repetitive. ⭑⭑Two, most of our thoughts are negative. So, choosing happiness would mean a mindshift and being aware of our thoughts. In the light of the above facts the advice that Franklin offers holds significant merit. Let’s analyse what advice does this aphorism offer.

    ๋࣭⭑The first part suggests ✦ ‘Write the injuries in dust.’── .✦ What will happen if we do so? The sand of time would heal our wounds. Just as no mark, however deep, made on the sand stays there for long, our wounds will also heal soon if we let them. The past can only hurt as much as we let it. And we let it by not making a conscious effort to stop our repetitive thoughts about the painful past. If we don’t cling to our hurtful experiences and  let go of hurt, it can be easily erased like writing in dust. The basic idea is that we should not allow grudges or offenses be permanently stored in your mind or heart. 🌿

    ๋࣭⭑Write ✦Your benefits in marble ── .✦This part of the quote encourages us to remember the kindnesses, blessings, and good deeds we receive and cherish eternally. We should treasure good things. We should dwell on the happy experiences a little more, a little longer. The memory of positive events creates positive emotions that’s why those memories should be permanent like etching on marble.

    ๋࣭⭑How do we write our benefits in marble? Positive psychology answers. Practice gratitude. This would redirect our repetitive thoughts in the positive direction. To quote Martin Seligman ✦Happy people remember more good events than actually happened, and they forget more of the bad events. Depressed people, in contrast, are accurate about both── .✦ If we hold on to the good things in life, remember them often and treasure happy memories forever, it would be ike a benefit etched in marble which cannot be erased. 🍃

    ๋࣭⭑Do you see, that the quote above so completely aligns with the core ideas of rather modern positive psychology.ᐟ.ᐟ It was actually written in 18th C .ᐟ.ᐟ The point I’m trying to make is that positive psychology existed even before it came recognised as a subfield of psychology (1998)！ Psychology itself became its own discipline only in late 19th C when the first psychology laboratory was opened in Germany！And it shouldn’t surprise us as gravity existed even before Newton gave it a name and the theory that Gravity is the force by which earth or other planets attract objects. 💡

    ✱About Benjamin Franklin to whom the quote belongs. He is known as one of the founding fathers of the United States of America, lived in 18th C. He was a writer, inventor, stateman, publisher and a philosopher. He wielded great influence on American psyche at the time when social influencer were not known.

    🎤Over to you. Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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  • Bonds Boost Wellbeing

    It is said ❝Behind every successful man there’s a woman❞ ── .✦

    In my opinion ⪼ It’s not about man or woman, nor about who is behind whom. It’s about relationship！ It’s about positive relationship. Or may I put it this way?

    Behind every success, there’s a positive relationship── .✦ Does that sound ok? Just look around. Consider any success story. See what relationship is behind that success. It could be a father, a mother, a teacher, a friend, a sibling or any relation for that matter.

    What does a positive relationship look like? I will not go by definitions I’ll give you some real-life examples. Just feel the positive vibes in the following snippets of conversations :

    🌞A person in his forties tells me “I’m happiest when I make my mother happy.”

    🌞A friend, who holds a B Tech degree from a premier institute and a plush job, tells me “Actually when I was in school all my friends were aspiring to get admission in to IIT. And the whole band got selected.” That’s interesting! Isn’t it?

    🌞“I didn’t believe in myself but my husband did. So, I tried and to my surprise, I succeeded.” tells another.

    🌞My elder sister told me when I failed in my first attempt and was ready to quit “You must take a second chance. I know you can make it.” “And, yes, I did.”

    🌞A bright, young lady shared “The environment at my in-law’s was hostile. I survived because I had very good friends at my work place. So while I was  in my office I forgot all the bitterness of my home.”

    🌞“Though my mother passed away a few years ago, yet whenever a crisis stares me in the face, I feel she must be somewhere helping me the way she did when she was alive.” I heard a celebrity say on a talk show.

    So what’s common in all these chats? Mutual respect, rejoicing each other’s success, care, acceptance, empathy, warmth, appreciation and acceptance. And that’s the hallmark of a positive relationship.

    The above examples clearly corroborate PERMA Model designed by Marting Seligman, father of Positive psychology. According to this model there are five elements of wellbeing. And ‘Relationship’ is one of those elements.

    Besides these examples, we ourselves can recall times when we survived and flourished thanks to some positive relationship. Think about those moments, those relationships. Memory of good events increases wellbeing and happiness.

    With these thoughts I sign off. One mindful moment at a time ✨

    Got thoughts? Drop a comment below! 💬

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  • Positive Psychology – A Modern Approach

    Since this space is about nurturing and educating with positive psychology it would only be appropriate to decode positive psychology for you at the outset.

    Positive psychology emerged as a scientific framework at the cusp of 21st century. It is a subfield within psychology and Martin Seligman, a prominent American psychologist, is called the father of positive psychology. Its distinctive feature is its strengths-focused approach.

    Though in the more recent years it has created quite a buzz yet not many people know that it is born out of years of scientific research and studies by psychologists like Seligman and Mihaly. Carol Dweck, Jonathan Haidt, Christopher Peterson are some of the leading names in the field. As Peterson puts it “…positive psychology is not to be confused with untested self-help…”. Here I’m trying to answer some of the questions that may already be swarming your mind.

    What is strengths-focused approach?

    Strengths-focused approach focuses on the strengths of individuals rather than on their shortcomings. There are moments when people are not ill or unhappy (no negative feelings) and yet they don’t feel happy or strong either(no positive feeling). This is where positive comes in. It aims at fostering happiness, strength and well being. And whatever we focus on multiplies, grows. Focus on health, happiness, hope, gratitude, interest, positive relationships enhances well-being, happiness and life satisfaction.

     In other words, positive psychology is not all about fixing problems but about promoting strengths and making life worth living. This is what Seligman means when he says “The best therapists do not merely heal damage; they help people identify and build their strengths and their virtues.”

    Is it the same as positive thinking?

    That’s a common confusion. The basic difference between the two is- positive thinking is a mindset that expects good outcomes always, while positive psychology is a scientific study based on research.

    Positive psychology is more realistic. It accepts that things may go wrong too. It understands and acknowledges negative feelings without giving them more power. It moves ahead to nurture strength and fulfilment.

    How is it different from the psychology as we have always known?

    As for Psychology as we know or let’s say traditional psychology, the primary concern is illness, disorder and dysfunction. Traditional psychology fixes what is wrong. It’s about surviving. On the other hand, Positive psychology interventions are about improving emotional health, social relations, and outlook by creating positive emotions, building capabilities and creating positive relationships.

    And this is the main and the only difference. In the end, these two don’t contradict each other. In fact, they complement each other.

    Enough! This is getting too long and theoretical. Alright, having gained the direction and the basic understanding of positive psychology, we now can glide into practical applications on how we can help kids (and adolescents) achieve their full potential and fulfilment.

    Have more questions? Drop them in the comment section.

    One mindful moment at a time – see you soon! ✨

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