Category: Feel. Think. Watch. Read.

Here we explore principles of psychology through movies, stories and other art forms. And this makes psychology more relatable and helps us understand thoughts and behaviour.

  • Movies That Speak to Parents: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

    When I was facilitating a workshop, a parent asked me if I could suggest some movies that carry meaningful messages for parents. ˙✧˖°🎞️

    On the spot, I could think only of the movie *Adolescence. By the way, you can read about it on my blog. (Link given at the bottom) Then another parent suggested Taare Zameen Par. Yes, of course—that one belongs on the list too!

    But the question remained with me. So, I thought, why not explore movies that parents and children can watch together—movies that entertain, spark conversations, and leave us with something to think about?

    I plan to talking about more such movies for parents and children. And today’s pick is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the 2005 fantasy film based on Roald Dahl’s book of the same name.

    It is, of course, a fantasy. There is magic, there are imaginary characters, and there are situations that could never happen in real life. Yet, beneath all that fantasy, the messages are surprisingly real—and relevant to both children and parents.

    A little about the story—without spoilers 👁

    A quirky chocolatier, Willy Wonka announces a rather extraordinary idea: hidden inside chocolate wrappers are five golden tickets. The lucky children who find them will get a chance to visit his mysterious chocolate factory.

    But there is more to the visit than meets the eye. Wonka has a secret plan, and as the children move through the factory, one by one, they face situations that test their behaviour, choices and character. And that’s where the movie becomes particularly interesting from a parenting perspective.

    I won’t give away what happens 🤫 Instead, I’ll let the movie do the talking.

    Each time one of the four children is eliminated, Wonka’s wonderfully strange Oompa-Loompas sing a song explaining what went wrong. And if you listen carefully, those songs are not merely about the children. They also offer a reflection on parenting.

    •What flaw led to the child’s downfall?

    •Where did that behaviour come from?

    •And, perhaps most importantly, how were the parents contributing to it?

    So, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory may look like a whimsical story about chocolate, golden tickets and a magical factory. But beneath the fantasy are questions about parenting, values, behaviour, relationships and the kind of adults our children may eventually become.

    That is what makes the movie worth watching with a parenting lens.

    The movie has another powerful thread running through it: Family relationships, what I like to call the power of positive relationships.

    Willy Wonka, despite being a wealthy and successful factory owner, carries an emotional void. There is a particularly telling moment when he struggles even to utter the word “Papa.” I’ll leave that one for you to notice when you watch the movie.

    Our relationships with our children can leave an imprint far beyond childhood. Sometimes, what a person becomes on the outside tells us very little about what they may be carrying on the inside.

    And that makes it much more than just a children’s movie.

    Before I end, I’d like to leave you with a few of the profound and meaningful conversations from the movie:

    Willy Wonka: ❛ The best kind of prize is a surprise! ❜

    ❛ Whipped cream isn’t whipped cream at all unless it’s been whipped with whips. Everybody knows that.❜

    Grandpa Joe: ❛ However small the chance might be of striking lucky, the chance was there.❜

    Here’s the coversation❝ ❞ Granpa and Charlie:

    Grandpa George: Young man, come here. There’s plenty of money out there. They print more every day. But this ticket, there’s only five of them in the whole world, and that’s all there’s ever going to be. Only a dummy would give this up for something as common as money. Are you a dummy?

    Charlie: No, sir!

    Grandpa George:Then get that mud off your pants! You’ve got a factory to go to! 🏁

    Perhaps these are worth reading, discussing—and reflecting upon, not just with our children, but with ourselves too.

    Your thoughts? 🎤 Drop in the comment box ✎ᝰ.

    *Adolescence 🔗

  • When They Grow Wings

    Mother’s Quiet Flutter

    ༗ It often amazes me how a poet manages to take a peek into the recesses of human heart! This is what struck me when I listened to Pt Jasraj’s soulful rendition of a verse by the great poet Surdas. For those who have not dived into Hindi literature, I’d add that Surdas has written devotional poetry vividly descibing Lord Krisna’s childhood.

    ༗ Get the gist of the song first.

    🪈🧞‍♀️Maa Yashoda is resting in her bed musing about her little son, who has gone to graze the cows for the first time. The child is small, yet big enough to go out to do what he ought to do. A cow herd boy must learn his job. He will soon be sharing this responsibility. The mother is anxious that little one has left home and is out on work, how will he manage, what challenges might he face. She is thrilled as her little one emerges from the cocoon. She is beaming with pride at the little steps her son takes. She offers prayers and gratitude to Gods for blessing her with such a wonderful child.

    I wonder once again how well the poet knows what lies deep in the heart of a mother! The verse is about Maa Yashoda and her son Krisna.

    ༗ The poet is relevant when the poetry is universal, not confined to time and place. Instead of Maa Yahoda and her son, it could be any mother/parent, any other child, even changed times, but the emotions and their complexity remain unchanged.

    ༗ Try putting it in the current context. Children going out for grazing cows is uncommon. But it signify the child transitioning into the next stage, which could mean the first day in the play group, an adolescent appearing for a crucial board exam or a young lad setting out for the hostel life. So the myriad of emotions that the poet describes so beautifully and tenderly are still relatable.  

      ▶︎•၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|။• Enjoy The song that inspired these thoughts.

    🎼Enjoy the song as I fall short of describing the beauty of the original verse, but Pandit Jasraj’s magical rendition captures it perfectly. Witness two legends across centuries come together in this song.

    What’s your take? Share your thoughts in the comments below! 💬

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  • Understanding Dementia

    • The film ‘The Father’ starring Anthony Hopkins and Olivia Colman,  is a 2020 psychological Drama. In the leading role is an illness, Dementia Alzheimer Type (DAT)── .✦

    The movie walks us very sensitively through the brain and behaviour of old man with Alzheimer. It tracks realistically the main subject i.e. the course of illness and how it impacts the life and emotions of those who love and care for the patient── .✦

    ⚡︎ Dementia shows up with its early signs (misplacing things) when Anthony starts forgetting where he kept his watch. He hides things and suspects people of stealing and blames his daughter and son-in-law of conspiring to send him away so they can own his house. The old man forgets names (aphasia), lapses into the world created with his own thoughts and visions and mixing it up with real world (retreating into inner reality based on feelings rather than intellect). Anthony berates his caring daughter often ‘My daughter has the habit of repeating things’ ‘She is not intelligent’. We notice frequent changes in his moods. He doesn’t get along with his caretaker, Angela. He appears particularly warm to another initially, offers her a drink and even dances for her. Then suddenly rebukes her sternly for laughing inanely. He forgets what his profession has been. He has his ways. At one point he says he was a tap dancer a painter. While we are informed by the daughter Ann that he was an engineer. All this while he keeps insisting ‘I can manage myself. I don’t need any help’── .✦

    ⚡︎ The illness progresses. Not recognising people close to him (agnosia). Not able to care for self. In one of the scenes he is not able to wear his clothes and holds his pullover at a loss how he was going to put it on when daughter helps him (apraxia). Attributing people with designs and breaking their hearts. His mind perceives someone having a different appearance. Then he loses the sense of time and place (disorientation). He confuses hospice for his old home or his daughter’s flat. Remembers his deceased daughter regrets she doesn’t come to see him. And dementia advances into ‘Who am I exactly? where am I? do I? Who are you exactly? How shall I put it…? I can see her face. I want to get out of here’. This is the climax── .✦

    ⚡︎ When Anthony’s daughter comes to settle him down in the institution, he sounds so vulnerable. ‘What about me?‘ She tells him she has to go, it’s important ‘you’ll manage.’ His words ‘On my own?’ make the heart ache.  He realizes he is losing himself, his identity. ‘I’m losing All my leaves, branches, the wind and the rain don’t know what’s happening…all my leaves’. This is utterly pathetic. The advanced stage of illness── .✦

     ⚡︎ If we see from therapy point of view, what does the nurse do besides medication? First she tries reality orientation when she shows his daughters card and tells she sometimes comes on weekends. When the patient laments he has ‘nowhere to put my head anymore’. I have a watch on my hand.. She extends her hand, supports him, validates his feelings and meanings hidden behind his confused speech and behaviour. It is emotional content of what is being said that is more important than the person’s orientation to the present. by empathizing with feelings and m she brings him back to present from the past.  He misses his mother who gave him the identity his name and he yearns for rest and peace cries like a baby ‘I want to go home. I want my mommy, I want my mommy’── .✦

    ⚡︎ If one has actually known someone with dementia, all this is so relatable. More so because of Anthony Hopkins’ powerful performance── .✦

    ⚡︎ If someone wants to gain an insight into dementia, what it looks like and feels, how difficult it is for the person suffering from it and how difficult and painful it is for the family, ‘The Father’ offers it. ⋆.˚

    🎤Over to you. Drop a comment below! 

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  • Watch- Think

    A social commentary, a study of adolescent mind and behaviour or a message for parents, Adolescence, a British television psychological crime drama, a Netflix mini-series has it all. It was released in March 2025 and caught global attention right away.

    Well, I’ll not be a spoiler and will try to divulge only what I have to for the context. My purpose is to draw reader’s attention to its message which is relevant, not just for western society where the story is set and the series is shot but for all people. After all we are living in a global village. And as it is, when it comes to adolescent psychology and parenting the boundaries don’t exist.

    The context, Episode 1 – Crime has already taken place, and police breaks into the house of Millers as Jamie, a boy of 13 is the main suspect. ‘That’s not possible’ thinks the family and thinks the audience. Both are assured that the child will be acquitted after the interrogation and the court proceedings.

     The problem, Episode 2 & 3 – The thriller plot is lost soon. Soon both the family and audience learn it’s no mystery. Police have all the evidence. So quite early the film becomes a social commentary and a study in psychology. While the children are being investigated at school we get a glimpse of their behaviour, how aggressive, violent, and rebellious they seem and how out of sync their parents seem to them. There is a clear disconnect. The audience comes to know of the role played by the social media in the entire crime drama, how they are labelled and how it hits them. It’s on social media children get bullied, isolated or feted. This part includes the psychological assessment of the child to explore what could have motivated him to crime.

    The last episode, the 4th – offers no solution but something deeper. This part contains the message for all of us. It showcases the Miller family’s attempts to cope with the situation, their trauma, their social isolation and their failed bid to put up a brave front. It is the reality it presents that calls for serious scrutiny and thoughtful deliberation.

    The final message comes toward the end when the dejected parents analyse where they faltered. They realize they have been simple and hardworking people, amazing mom and dad. Dad,who never hit his children though his own father thrashed him a lot when he was young. They wonder how they could have raised a criminal. They search a little deeper and find out that they allowed their son too much of unsupervised screen time. They recall the time when their son was younger and used to create nice things but then they let him be with his phone and computer inside the closed room and thought he was safe there. Finally, they both admit that it was their failing. They ‘should we have done more though?’ After holding themselves responsible for the family’s fate, they look at their very nice and understanding daughter and the father asks his wife ‘How did we make her?’ and the mother answers half smiling and half crying ‘The same way we made him‘. And in the last heartbreaking scene the father breaks down and apologises ‘I’m sorry son, I should have done better.”

    The series resonated with audience all over the world. It kind of shook the world to the reality. It was a wakeup call to parents to connect to their children. Adolescents still need them. Parents should be aware of what’s going on in their child’s life. What social influences they find themselves under. British Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, met the makers of the show and made the screening of this mandatory in schools to combat toxic online culture. But I feel all parents should watch it and be watchful to keep their children from falling prey to the dark side of social media.

    Don’t say this does not concern us. This concerns anyone who has any role in bringing up the children. Often similar incidents are reported in the news papers from different parts of India. You may check the link here

    Children are not mature enough to decide what and how much social media consumption is good for them, where they should stop. They need supervision. Parents have to be observant and notice any change in their children’s behaviour and try to get to the cause of it. All parents love their children but that’s not enough. That parents are simple and hard working will not ensure that their children would also be so. No. Parents lived in a different age, their social influences were not the same as those of children today. Parents are the major influence on the children but there are other influences at work too. And the biggest influence on the adolescents is peer influence.

    To wrap it up, I’d reproduce a proverb I have heard from my mother often. I’ll transliterate it for you, ‘Raising kids is like boiling milk. Keep a steady eye, you blink and it flows out.’

    One mindful moment at a time – see you soon! ✨

    What do you think about the post? Do share your thoughts in the comment box.

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