Author: Renu

  • Watch- Think

    A social commentary, a study of adolescent mind and behaviour or a message for parents, Adolescence, a British television psychological crime drama, a Netflix mini-series has it all. It was released in March 2025 and caught global attention right away.

    Well, I’ll not be a spoiler and will try to divulge only what I have to for the context. My purpose is to draw reader’s attention to its message which is relevant, not just for western society where the story is set and the series is shot but for all people. After all we are living in a global village. And as it is, when it comes to adolescent psychology and parenting the boundaries don’t exist.

    The context, Episode 1 – Crime has already taken place, and police breaks into the house of Millers as Jamie, a boy of 13 is the main suspect. ‘That’s not possible’ thinks the family and thinks the audience. Both are assured that the child will be acquitted after the interrogation and the court proceedings.

     The problem, Episode 2 & 3 – The thriller plot is lost soon. Soon both the family and audience learn it’s no mystery. Police have all the evidence. So quite early the film becomes a social commentary and a study in psychology. While the children are being investigated at school we get a glimpse of their behaviour, how aggressive, violent, and rebellious they seem and how out of sync their parents seem to them. There is a clear disconnect. The audience comes to know of the role played by the social media in the entire crime drama, how they are labelled and how it hits them. It’s on social media children get bullied, isolated or feted. This part includes the psychological assessment of the child to explore what could have motivated him to crime.

    The last episode, the 4th – offers no solution but something deeper. This part contains the message for all of us. It showcases the Miller family’s attempts to cope with the situation, their trauma, their social isolation and their failed bid to put up a brave front. It is the reality it presents that calls for serious scrutiny and thoughtful deliberation.

    The final message comes toward the end when the dejected parents analyse where they faltered. They realize they have been simple and hardworking people, amazing mom and dad. Dad,who never hit his children though his own father thrashed him a lot when he was young. They wonder how they could have raised a criminal. They search a little deeper and find out that they allowed their son too much of unsupervised screen time. They recall the time when their son was younger and used to create nice things but then they let him be with his phone and computer inside the closed room and thought he was safe there. Finally, they both admit that it was their failing. They ‘should we have done more though?’ After holding themselves responsible for the family’s fate, they look at their very nice and understanding daughter and the father asks his wife ‘How did we make her?’ and the mother answers half smiling and half crying ‘The same way we made him‘. And in the last heartbreaking scene the father breaks down and apologises ‘I’m sorry son, I should have done better.”

    The series resonated with audience all over the world. It kind of shook the world to the reality. It was a wakeup call to parents to connect to their children. Adolescents still need them. Parents should be aware of what’s going on in their child’s life. What social influences they find themselves under. British Prime Minister, Keir Starmer, met the makers of the show and made the screening of this mandatory in schools to combat toxic online culture. But I feel all parents should watch it and be watchful to keep their children from falling prey to the dark side of social media.

    Don’t say this does not concern us. This concerns anyone who has any role in bringing up the children. Often similar incidents are reported in the news papers from different parts of India. You may check the link here

    Children are not mature enough to decide what and how much social media consumption is good for them, where they should stop. They need supervision. Parents have to be observant and notice any change in their children’s behaviour and try to get to the cause of it. All parents love their children but that’s not enough. That parents are simple and hard working will not ensure that their children would also be so. No. Parents lived in a different age, their social influences were not the same as those of children today. Parents are the major influence on the children but there are other influences at work too. And the biggest influence on the adolescents is peer influence.

    To wrap it up, I’d reproduce a proverb I have heard from my mother often. I’ll transliterate it for you, ‘Raising kids is like boiling milk. Keep a steady eye, you blink and it flows out.’

    One mindful moment at a time – see you soon! ✨

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  • Positive Psychology – A Modern Approach

    Since this space is about nurturing and educating with positive psychology it would only be appropriate to decode positive psychology for you at the outset.

    Positive psychology emerged as a scientific framework at the cusp of 21st century. It is a subfield within psychology and Martin Seligman, a prominent American psychologist, is called the father of positive psychology. Its distinctive feature is its strengths-focused approach.

    Though in the more recent years it has created quite a buzz yet not many people know that it is born out of years of scientific research and studies by psychologists like Seligman and Mihaly. Carol Dweck, Jonathan Haidt, Christopher Peterson are some of the leading names in the field. As Peterson puts it “…positive psychology is not to be confused with untested self-help…”. Here I’m trying to answer some of the questions that may already be swarming your mind.

    What is strengths-focused approach?

    Strengths-focused approach focuses on the strengths of individuals rather than on their shortcomings. There are moments when people are not ill or unhappy (no negative feelings) and yet they don’t feel happy or strong either(no positive feeling). This is where positive comes in. It aims at fostering happiness, strength and well being. And whatever we focus on multiplies, grows. Focus on health, happiness, hope, gratitude, interest, positive relationships enhances well-being, happiness and life satisfaction.

     In other words, positive psychology is not all about fixing problems but about promoting strengths and making life worth living. This is what Seligman means when he says “The best therapists do not merely heal damage; they help people identify and build their strengths and their virtues.”

    Is it the same as positive thinking?

    That’s a common confusion. The basic difference between the two is- positive thinking is a mindset that expects good outcomes always, while positive psychology is a scientific study based on research.

    Positive psychology is more realistic. It accepts that things may go wrong too. It understands and acknowledges negative feelings without giving them more power. It moves ahead to nurture strength and fulfilment.

    How is it different from the psychology as we have always known?

    As for Psychology as we know or let’s say traditional psychology, the primary concern is illness, disorder and dysfunction. Traditional psychology fixes what is wrong. It’s about surviving. On the other hand, Positive psychology interventions are about improving emotional health, social relations, and outlook by creating positive emotions, building capabilities and creating positive relationships.

    And this is the main and the only difference. In the end, these two don’t contradict each other. In fact, they complement each other.

    Enough! This is getting too long and theoretical. Alright, having gained the direction and the basic understanding of positive psychology, we now can glide into practical applications on how we can help kids (and adolescents) achieve their full potential and fulfilment.

    Have more questions? Drop them in the comment section.

    One mindful moment at a time – see you soon! ✨

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  • My Why & Your Why

    Well, ‘Your Why’ first!

    Before I get into the ‘Why’, allow me a moment to expand on ‘You’. ‘You’ means- parents, not just biological parents, but all those who are into child rearing whether professionals or family members. Since there is no clear line separating them, I consider the entire community of child and adolescent carers as one. A teacher may be a parent too, a parent may teach too and a care giver may be a family member and so on. And therefore, the content posted on Roots n Wings will be relevant to all.

    Now the ‘Why’. Why should you dive into my content?

    A fair question. Well, I’m certain your role comes with challenges which if met with innovative approaches involving critical thinking, creative thinking and self-regulation would bring better results . On how well you carry out your role and responsibilities, will depend how well the children will do throughout their developmental stages, how well they cope with stressors and how resilient and confident they become as they grow. It’s crucial for you to be aware and informed about child development and behaviour to be able to manage their quirks and tantrums, to make the child feel secure and open to share her stories with you which is equally important for the child and for the carer. This creates a healthy connection with the child which is absolutely essential for her well-being and emotional development from early childhood to turbulent teens.

    Here is ‘My Why’.

    For the well-being and healthy growth of the plant we water roots, give nutrients to the soil. Result? The plant turns into a tree strong enough to weather any storm. It not only survives, it thrives. This is what we want for our children. Same way, parents are the roots and all the microsphere around the child is the soil. And my mission is to fortify the roots and soil so that children achieve their full potential.

    A little about my credentials. I’ll not repeat what I have already shared in the opening post. But would like to add some more to it. I got several opportunities to attend trainings, both virtual and in-person, at some prestigious universities in the US which gave me ample exposure to the common global practices. Some important trainings I enumerate here- Professional Development for teacher trainer from Arizona State University and Power Skills in Classroom, which is about developing social emotional competence among children, from University of Massachusetts, Lowell. These two were virtual exchanges. Another that I attended in-person was on Service Learning at the University of Rhode Island. The last one is about serving the society by sharing the learning and I am really keen on sharing with everyone, who can actually benefit from me and can further transfer the benefits to the younger generation. Just to set off a cascading effect!            

    I can’t sign off without a word on Positive Psychology, which is the cornerstone of Roots n Wings. I plan to talk at length about the same in my next post. For now, I’d only say that Positive Psychology focuses on strength, positive emotions and factors contributing to life satisfaction. Lastly, I want to add that content shared will always be based on scientific researches and studies in the field.

    One mindful moment at a time – see you soon! ✨

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  • Roots Give Strength, Wings Empower

    To blog or not to blog. The long drawn dilemma is over and here I am. This blog that has been gestating in my mind for quite some time has finally arrived!

    Roots and Wings is all about nurturance, care, education. To dwell on the significance of the roles of parents, caregivers and educators in raising children and shaping future would mean stating the obvious. I said ‘parents, care givers and educators’, but actually, the line separating them often blurs, often their roles merge, for it’s the child who is at the centre.

    This is the space for sharing ideas, advice and support based on Positive Psychology. Positive Psychology is the scientific study of human flourishing and fostering well-being.While traditional psychology focuses on illness and dysfunction, positive psychology focuses on understanding and promoting human strengths, positive emotions, happiness, growth, development.

    My life has mostly revolved around children, mine and many more. M SC Counselling and Family Therapy, internship at the GMERS Civil Hospital, training to train teachers and my teaching years, all fuelled my interest in child and adolescent behaviour and positive psychology.

    I now feel impatient to share my learnings and insights, knowledge and experience with all. Let my vibe attract my tribe!

    One mindful moment at a time – see you soon! ✨

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